Murder By Death

My first concert. Well, can I call it a first if I went to Fort Rock for a couple hours before the heat took over me? If so, then this is my second concert. This really feels like my first though, it feels like I never experienced anything this surreal; even meeting Brandon for the first time!

A little back story is up I suppose, Brandon is my boyfriend. We met online via a game called Don’t Starve Together. Crazy, I know. I never expected to find a life partner in a game, especially that one. Long distance is hard, we are making it work the best we can. Currently trying to find a place so we can move in together.

Back to the concert though! It was amazing, I had such a good time at the Terminal West venue. The acoustics in the place was great, the band sounded just as good or even better than the recorded  version! This trip was at first pretty scary but now I am really looking forward to the next time I will be in town.

(Continuation soon)


It’s crazy because I can sit and think for hours and completely blank when it’s time to discuss my thoughts. My mind just moves so quickly from one thing to another it’s hard to keep track of decisions and ideas. To you I may be indecisive; to me I am too decisive. I know what I want but I care about the repercussions of those wants and needs. Who will it affect? Will it hurt anyone? My dad would always say the old cliche, “no good deed goes unpunished”. I think about that a lot while I am driving. How I stop at a stop sign and let someone go first at the expense of the person behind me. It disrupts the order, causes chaos but it still considered a good gesture for the person who goes first. It isn’t like I really shaved off any time for them, maybe 10 seconds. I suppose that is the truth for either direction. I shaved off 10 seconds for one person, added 10 seconds for another. This makes me their time master and they will have no choice but to bend to my will. Because I am the one who got to the stop sign first. If my first thought was to disrupt the person behind me so be it.

Why is it that when someone is more in a hurry while driving everyone around seems to think it is good/funny/fair to take longer. Waste their time. If they are in a hurry could it be for a reason that is out of our norm?

We will never understand what happens in the life of others. And as I learned in my creative writing class, life is stranger than fiction. With that my professor mentioned to us how difficult it would be to write an autobiography as no one would ever believe the events we are claiming took place were real. Instead tweak them and write them into a fiction story where you can manipulate the emphasis and hidden meanings.

It is crazy how somethings stick with you and somethings just leave your mind completely. I felt so ahead in that class, like I knew my stuff and others were playing catch up.

But I was never one to be so precise.

Morning gifts

I wake up, sigh, it’s too early to function and yet my body is already becoming more alert.
Curse of the morning person I suppose. I think to myself looking around. 2 dogs on the floor, snoring; One dog along my back, also snoring and a dog cuddling my feet under the covers. What’s that rule about a sleeping animal? I guess that means I can’t move, huh? I shake the sleep off, take a deep breath and say, “Good morning!” As if a bell tower had rung these dogs all become alert at once. The pug goes from sleeping along my back to her snout in my face and a million face kisses; just for me. The dachshund wags his tail under the covers and slowly creeps out, giving a long stretch before walking along the edge of the bed towards my face. The Rottweilers eyes are wide open as she stares at me from the floor, she is so unwilling sometimes. “I said good morning, aren’t you ready to go outside?” That did the trick. The Rottweiler claws her way to her feet, and she walks towards the bedroom door, which is still closed because our biggest challenge is hogging the dog bed: The American bulldog, she doesn’t even open her eyes. But I see them blink. She is awake she is just too lazy to get up! And she knows it’s 6:30 am and everyone in the house is sleeping so I can’t be loud. “You got me, Mia, but it’s time to go outside, let’s go! Up!” I try to be as encouraging as possible but she opens one eye at me, I think it’s working. I move out of the bed, running my hands down the back of every dog I nudge away to make space for myself. I bend beside Mia, “come on baby” I coax as I cup her face and pet her head. Cookie, the Rottweiler, just can’t take it anymore and she gets in my face and gives me a lick! “Ok! Ok! We are going without Mia then, bye Mia”
The small dogs, Tinky the Pug and Charlie the dachshund jump off the bed, nose in the door. I open the door slowly but it doesn’t matter, they run into the door and they run out the door. Mia lies motionless in bed. Guess she will have to hold it until my parents wake up. I get to the backdoor and open it for the babies, they all run out but as soon as the door closes behind them, they are crying for me to sit outside with them. I’m feeling the time pressure. My job requires me to be somewhere by 8 and it takes 20 minutes to drive there. As if in sync, the moment I check my phone I get a text from my boss (who I consider my second mother) “can you stop by my house first on the way to the warehouse?” I have to add an extra 10 minutes to make it to the warehouse in time now. It’s 7:10 am. I have about 15 minutes. I hope they use the bathroom but it’s also my turn. I race to the bathroom and that’s when it hits me;
Surprise poop.


Sometimes it is easier to write when my eyes are swollen with tears, but it is equally as important to write about the average times. Or even more importantly, about the times where I am happy about an event or decision.

Now is definitely one of these times. I have decided to pursue grad school. I am aiming to apply for Washington or even southern British Columbia, Canada.

I plan on writing more and keeping up with this blog better than I have been. I really want to be a member of this community and feel comfortable expressing myself. It  isn’t easy being truly myself a lot of the time. I just need to find a place where I can be who I am, and grow into the person I want to be.

I know most of my writings have been pretty down lately, I will work on it. I also plan on self publishing a book soon.

Cant expose everything yet, but believe me! I am moving forward to better myself and becoming the person I know I can be- and you all deserve.

Blog at

Up ↑