I wish
I could be
Happy
Without feeling
Like I am
Lesser than
Me and my writing.
I wish
I could be
Happy
Without feeling
Like I am
Lesser than
If I have to be my own purpose, how the fuck am I supposed to live?
I hate myself and my existence and yet!
Here I am
Giving my best to everyone else
But what about me?
How do I remove myself from this child like mentality that holds me back? The one that feels like life should be fair and equal
And for why? Because one guy said that’s how it should be and he couldn’t even follow through?
So that set a mother fucking standard somehow?
For who?
Why does my standard have to be what everyone adapts to?
Why do I rebel and refuse to adapt to things?
Should I really be expected to though?
Why did my mentality change after a betrayal?
All these questions
And the only answer
Is me
I am the only thing that can change anything
And I explicitly did not use the word fix because that would insinuate that something is broken
All that is broken is me and all that can repair it is me
So why
Do I
Wait
Who can truly feel it
How can you keep it
It’s like one moment my heart is filled with so much affection
And before I can even blink
It’s gone
It’s me
I’m broken
And no one can love someone who is broken
So why do I want you to love me?
Just be happy
Just be grateful
Don’t have any emotions
Other than positive ones
And then
People might actually like you
Just remember to always put on the mask
Because one slip up
And everyone is against you again
Most days
I am awe-struck
Fully involved and enveloped
You can’t see how deep I’ve fallen
And I’m so scared
You’re going to leave me in the dark
Whenever I promise positivity I just disappear, thats a little ridiculous. I am working on things and being happier and finding myself. I am also working on myself too! I’m heading to the gym to get my endorphins up! NaNoWriMo is coming and I need to be mentally AND physically well and organized!
Whenever I promise positivity I just disappear, thats a little ridiculous. I am working on things and being happier and finding myself. I am also working on myself too! I’m heading to the gym to get my endorphins up! NaNoWriMo is coming and I need to be mentally AND physically well and organized!
Think it into existence
This fantasy, dreamland
A place where actions and words mean nothing because your thoughts are your reality
But also, coexisting in this newly found universe,
A law that
Even though pictures are worth a thousand words, actions speak louder than all of them
In this place, where you can take a compliment and completely turn it into the biggest insult ever seen,
You can also take those small gestures and craft them into this meaningful deeper level of comfort
A commitment that
May be over looked by many
But not by you
Mother did say,
Even the solidest of glass hearts
Can be crushed by the weight
Of hard headedness
Volando
Las gritas que pegan
Siempre timbrando
En Europa gritan
En los Estados Unidos
Ni un piyo
Las escucho
En mi mente
Cuando extraño
A Viveiro
My happieness
Couldn’t have been
Locked away that long
I remember her smile
Her laugh
Her energy
I may have pushed her
Away before
Things have changed
I want her here
Back with me
To make me smile again
Like we used to
She is a sunshine
I have neglected for so long
I deserve me
And with her
I will be my happy self again