Kindness

I could feel it,
His hands
Placed firmly
Around my lungs.

No matter
How many short breaths
I battled to take in,
I could feel his grip tighten.

He whispered
So softly into my ear
“Don’t I take your breath away?”

How quickly those hands
Move from my lungs,
To my heart
And then my throat.

The last time I let someone
Tighten their grip around me
They stole my air

But they left me with tears
Every night I’d cry
Every night I’d wish
For something more
Something better

But every night
I’d feel like I didn’t deserve it

Just because I want it.
Doesn’t mean I deserve it

And I don’t feel like I deserve anything

How do you treat yourself right
How do you feel deserving of kindness
When you can’t even be kind to yourself