Trigger

I feel my heart some days
Beating

Sometimes it’s gentle
And feels like butterfly wings

Sometimes it races
And feels like a drum
Echoing in my chest endlessly

Then there are those other times
Where every time it beats
It’s like a gun going off
And the bullets shard
Into pieces
And stick to my chest and back

Every breath is a pain
I don’t think I will survive

But then I talk myself out of it
And I blame the pain on myself
And not the person
Who pulled the trigger
With their tongue

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