Are you happy?

If things were easy I would be happy.

I say I’m happy but what I really mean when I say that is I’m happy your happy.

Ive always been supportive of others in a way that I felt no one would be supportive of me

I appreciate people and everything they do for me

I notice the things

But in noticing the things, big and small

I notice the stuff that hurts too

I see the facial contorts

I hear the change in tone

I feel the atmosphere thicken around our bodies as if this oxygen is just going to stop moving and turn into a solid before my eyes

I feel my chest compress

It’s like it’s filling with cement

It hurts

And it shouldn’t

Because everything that is happening to me

Is happening because I let

I could accept things as they are

I could move on

I could walk away

I could be alone

My wants are what keep me

And I’m trying to weigh the pros and cons I find myself stumbling through the selfishness I never truly let myself have before

I want it now

But who am I anyway?

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

Blog at WordPress.com.

Up ↑

%d bloggers like this: