Daddy’s girl

I entered the room and saw him lying there, gasping for air even though he was hooked up to the oxygen tank. I looked at my mother, she stood there with swollen eyes and red nose. “He won’t be with us much longer, this is it.” She said this so lightly but it weighed so heavy on my chest. The room suddenly felt heavy, like I could understand why my father gasped with every breath. I looked at him, and I knew. My brother let his hand go and stepped out of the room. It was too much for him and that’s ok, I wish I could shield him from this. I stood next to my dad and stroked his hair while holding his hand. My mom burst into tears and said, “I’m sorry, I can’t do this.” Her room door closed and I could hear her wailing. Everything in my body screamed to leave, just leave. I couldn’t though. My dad has been so afraid to die, he didn’t want to die alone, I couldn’t leave him now. Instead I leaned in, rested my head on the pillow next to his and rubbed his chest. I rubbed my nose against his cheek and whispered into his ear “everything will be ok, we will all be ok. I know it’s been hard for you fighting for so long, you must be so tired. I’m not crying because I’m upset, I’m crying because I’m thinking of all the good times. I am going to miss you so much. You did everything you could for us. We all love you and we know you love us-“ and then I just repeated “it’s ok, it will be ok, we will be ok, I love you.” I felt his hand touch mine as his breathing slowed, he took longer to release the air, took longer to take them in. I was afraid, I could feel my body ready to burst with tears- my legs trembled as I waited for his next breath, the one that never came.

One thought on “Daddy’s girl

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  1. Wow! He is free of this place we call earth. He is free of pain, no longer suffering or struggling to take a breath. He is now your guardian angel, my friend. I am here for you and lifting you and your family up in prayer.

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