S.O

“Have it your way!” She huffs in her final message. The last message she claims to send. Her heart pounding, the warm and yet cold flow of snot running down her face into her pillow. She doesn’t even wipe it away. Too angry, her heart not only pounds in her chest but in her throat and stomach. At this rate she won’t ever sleep, and she has less than 5 hours until work. She chuckles at the thought of the term “significant other”, it would mean that she would have to be significant to the other. Her chuckle turns into a cry, which then fills her with a rage she has known all too well over the years. It’s the kind of abuse she hates but can’t escape from, the kind she inflicts on herself. She sets boundaries and lines to prevent it, but she knows when she is in too deep those things don’t exist anymore. “I will just break it off when there is a lie”! A million come, and so do her excuses. “Well, I will end things when I feel unwanted,” she has felt more alone than ever for over six months. Her lines are fake and so is she. Because what woman in her right mind would take abuse from herself?

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