Here we go, together

Slipping
Into my sadness,
Into my own darkness

It’s so terrible
that I don’t want to be alone

But I also don’t want you to talk to me
I want you to forget
that you said you wanted to spend the time
when I got home
Which you already did

You started playing your game,
Forgetting that I am just here

I would usually be pestering you
Reminding you
that we would do something together

Why don’t you notice my change?
You seem fine
Everything is great in your world

While mine is crashing

I am the saddest I have been in a long while
I can’t feel my emotions anymore
The reality of you not coming is sinking in

And I hate it

I wish you would just face it,
Face the anxiety
And come
But you can’t
You won’t

I am not pretending to
entertain the idea of us in the future anymore.

I am tapping out
Checking out
My thoughts are mine
And that’s it
They will not be shared
My emotions will not be shared
I am just going to be me. 

You’re right
You’re not perfect
And I was a fool to think this relationship would be.