I can’t pretend I am always feeling down, I catch myself smiling at the thought of you. Every picture you send me keeps my heart afloat, bides me time from the darkness of my depression that I know is coming so close so fast. Long distance is hard, but you make it look so easy. I can feel myself crumbling with you, I sometimes can’t even bring myself to smile because I know the tears will just flood from me. You bring me a smile, that shimmer in your eyes reassure me of the love that sometimes my sadness makes me question. Those words slip from your lips, and the physical distance between us disappears. I can be myself, I can say whatever I want to say. Do what I want to do. I have always had to conform to what my partners wanted me to be. When I am with you, I get to be me. It’s been a long time since I have known myself but that doesn’t bother you. You want to explore that together and I could never express how much that hurts so good.