I wish
I could be
Happy
Without feeling
Like I am
Lesser than
Epiphany who?
If I have to be my own purpose, how the fuck am I supposed to live?
I hate myself and my existence and yet!
Here I am
Giving my best to everyone else
But what about me?
How do I remove myself from this child like mentality that holds me back? The one that feels like life should be fair and equal
And for why? Because one guy said that’s how it should be and he couldn’t even follow through?
So that set a mother fucking standard somehow?
For who?
Why does my standard have to be what everyone adapts to?
Why do I rebel and refuse to adapt to things?
Should I really be expected to though?
Why did my mentality change after a betrayal?
All these questions
And the only answer
Is me
I am the only thing that can change anything
And I explicitly did not use the word fix because that would insinuate that something is broken
All that is broken is me and all that can repair it is me
So why
Do I
Wait
Bliss
Who can truly feel it
How can you keep it
It’s like one moment my heart is filled with so much affection
And before I can even blink
It’s gone
It’s me
I’m broken
And no one can love someone who is broken
So why do I want you to love me?
don’t forget
Just be happy
Just be grateful
Don’t have any emotions
Other than positive ones
And then
People might actually like you
Just remember to always put on the mask
Because one slip up
And everyone is against you again
Courage the cowardly dog
Most days
I am awe-struck
Fully involved and enveloped
You can’t see how deep I’ve fallen
And I’m so scared
You’re going to leave me in the dark
Day 1
I am eager to report that day 1 of NaNoWriMo was a success! Yesenia and I have both reached our quota, and with a cutie like her inspiring- who wouldnt reach it!
Getting the first 1,666 words together for the first day really wasn’t a challenge, the hardest part is coming up with the idea. Let’s be real, not everything written is going to be in the final. The whole purpose is to have a completed VERY rough draft written by the end of November.
Using the free NaNoWriMo website, which I will link here, to track your writing and also buddy up with people- finding motivation will be a breeze! Buddy up with me if you’d like! My username is JocysAdventures. We all know I can use all the motivation I can get for this!
November is going to be a great month to the rest of my year! With a new job offer I just recieved and now a fully written rough draft of a book, that I personally feel is an amazing story, I know I am finally going to be at peace with everything.
I am going to do my best to write as much as I can every day for NaNoWriMo as well as blow my new jobs expectations of me out of the water!
I miss you dad, and everything I do now is to honor the life you are no longer able to live. I will live for us both.
Get writing everyone! You can do it! Don’t let the word “can’t” hold you back!
Life is what you make it, so don’t make it a pain 😉
Wow, Joc
Whenever I promise positivity I just disappear, thats a little ridiculous. I am working on things and being happier and finding myself. I am also working on myself too! I’m heading to the gym to get my endorphins up! NaNoWriMo is coming and I need to be mentally AND physically well and organized!
Wow, Joc
Whenever I promise positivity I just disappear, thats a little ridiculous. I am working on things and being happier and finding myself. I am also working on myself too! I’m heading to the gym to get my endorphins up! NaNoWriMo is coming and I need to be mentally AND physically well and organized!
Rock beats glass
Think it into existence
This fantasy, dreamland
A place where actions and words mean nothing because your thoughts are your reality
But also, coexisting in this newly found universe,
A law that
Even though pictures are worth a thousand words, actions speak louder than all of them
In this place, where you can take a compliment and completely turn it into the biggest insult ever seen,
You can also take those small gestures and craft them into this meaningful deeper level of comfort
A commitment that
May be over looked by many
But not by you
Mother did say,
Even the solidest of glass hearts
Can be crushed by the weight
Of hard headedness
Gaviotas
Volando
Las gritas que pegan
Siempre timbrando
En Europa gritan
En los Estados Unidos
Ni un piyo
Las escucho
En mi mente
Cuando extraño
A Viveiro
