Day 1

I am eager to report that day 1 of NaNoWriMo was a success! Yesenia and I have both reached our quota, and with a cutie like her inspiring- who wouldnt reach it!
Getting the first 1,666 words together for the first day really wasn’t a challenge, the hardest part is coming up with the idea. Let’s be real, not everything written is going to be in the final. The whole purpose is to have a completed VERY rough draft written by the end of November.
Using the free NaNoWriMo website, which I will link here, to track your writing and also buddy up with people- finding motivation will be a breeze! Buddy up with me if you’d like! My username is JocysAdventures. We all know I can use all the motivation I can get for this!
November is going to be a great month to the rest of my year! With a new job offer I just recieved and now a fully written rough draft of a book, that I personally feel is an amazing story, I know I am finally going to be at peace with everything.

I am going to do my best to write as much as I can every day for NaNoWriMo as well as blow my new jobs expectations of me out of the water!

I miss you dad, and everything I do now is to honor the life you are no longer able to live. I will live for us both.

Get writing everyone! You can do it! Don’t let the word “can’t” hold you back!

Life is what you make it, so don’t make it a pain 😉

Wow, Joc

Whenever I promise positivity I just disappear, thats a little ridiculous. I am working on things and being happier and finding myself. I am also working on myself too! I’m heading to the gym to get my endorphins up! NaNoWriMo is coming and I need to be mentally AND physically well and organized!

Rock beats glass

Think it into existence
This fantasy, dreamland

A place where actions and words mean nothing because your thoughts are your reality
But also, coexisting in this newly found universe,
A law that
Even though pictures are worth a thousand words, actions speak louder than all of them

In this place, where you can take a compliment and completely turn it into the biggest insult ever seen,

You can also take those small gestures and craft them into this meaningful deeper level of comfort

A commitment that
May be over looked by many
But not by you

Mother did say,

Even the solidest of glass hearts
Can be crushed by the weight
Of hard headedness

Gaviotas

Volando

Las gritas que pegan

Siempre timbrando

En Europa gritan

En los Estados Unidos

Ni un piyo

Las escucho

En mi mente

Cuando extraño

A Viveiro

Flip the switch pt.2

My happieness
Couldn’t have been
Locked away that long

I remember her smile
Her laugh
Her energy

I may have pushed her
Away before

Things have changed
I want her here

Back with me
To make me smile again
Like we used to

She is a sunshine
I have neglected for so long

I deserve me

And with her
I will be my happy self again

Feeding

There are plenty of ways
I find myself
Feeding this
Anxiousness
Inside me

The hardest part
Is finding ways to starve it

While trying to bring
A different me
Back to life

I remember days
When I was young
Sitting on a couch
Trying to figure out
Just how I got to be
So sad

But I never sat on a couch
And thought about all the ways
I could be so happy

My grandmother said
It’s because my parents
Didnt hit me enough

Where my mother says
Its a chemical imbalance
I genetically inherited
From the crazy

My father said
Its from taking things
The wrong way
To stay sad
Instead of taking things
Positively
To be happy

But I say
It’s because
I don’t know
What I need
To be happy

I don’t know if its
Friends
Family
Life partner
Life partners?
Animals
Ice cream?

A new pair of boots!

Yeah, I like that one.


Kindness

I could feel it,
His hands
Placed firmly
Around my lungs.

No matter
How many short breaths
I battled to take in,
I could feel his grip tighten.

He whispered
So softly into my ear
“Don’t I take your breath away?”

How quickly those hands
Move from my lungs,
To my heart
And then my throat.

The last time I let someone
Tighten their grip around me
They stole my air

But they left me with tears
Every night I’d cry
Every night I’d wish
For something more
Something better

But every night
I’d feel like I didn’t deserve it

Just because I want it.
Doesn’t mean I deserve it

And I don’t feel like I deserve anything

How do you treat yourself right
How do you feel deserving of kindness
When you can’t even be kind to yourself

Me, myself, and she

I am who I am
And although I struggle
With who I was and who I can be

It doesn’t change things

But what can this say about me

Current me
Real me

Who can she even be without who she was?

Haunted,
Forgotten

Or at least in her own thoughts

I struggle
She struggles

I am her
And she is me

But that won’t change what we are
Pathetic.

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